As a Neurodiverse individual and couples therapist with over 30 years experience, Lynne Terry has helped dozens of couples across the country.
How does my approach to working with couples differ from traditional therapy?
I offer a combination of couples relationship counseling and coaching, that is different from therapy. We will not be primarily focusing on any mental health issues and instead work on coming up with strategies and tools to help with your specific needs.
These are areas that you would like to improve or issues that usually relate to communication. I will help you develop an understanding and connection that allows you to work better as a team.
My goal is to make myself obsolete in your relationship, wherever possible. We will work to give you the tools and strategies to keep practicing. You will be able to have a satisfying dialogue and actually hear each other. When you feel competent to use these tools independently, we can meet as needed for relationship tune-ups. When new issues arise, or routinely for accountability, whatever works best for you and your unique relationship.
I offer a free half hour consultation to couples. If you need longer and we both feel we can work together, then a full first session can be scheduled.
In the first session, we will try to get clear on your mutual or separate goals. I prefer to see you together for an hour and I will provide 15 minutes for each alone, if necessary. Those on the autistic spectrum often have or develop an important sensitivity to conflict. They may show feelings like love or frustration differently. This separate time can provide you with an opportunity, to speak to me about anything that seems too sensitive without causing a problem.
This allows me to observe where your communication gets stuck. You will find that I can step in as an interpreter to offer understanding to those on the spectrum and their significant other.
“What I hear daily is that most neurodiverse couples have been to multiple couples therapists who have not only been unhelpful, but have often been harmful. What they want and need are concrete tools and strategies that each partner is able to do in order to improve their relationship, so this is what I provide.”
“Cassandra Syndrome” is a term that Dr. Tony Attwood first coined in his book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. It describes a situation where an individual on the autistic spectrum is in a relationship with a neurotypical partner. The neurotypical partner often feels dismissed and unheard, leading to feelings of frustration, resentment, sadness and even anger.”
My Background & Experience with Neurodiverse Therapy for couples
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Therapist/coach for neurodiverse couples, separately or together, 1981 – Present in Private Practice
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32 years in private practice
My approach to working with neurodiverse couples.
My approach first and foremost is to listen to you and/or your partner and learn about your relationship. We work to identify the areas that are not working.
We then target the problematic behaviors for skill building and problem-solving, focusing on one topic at a time, working to achieve your common goals.
During this I normalize and validate both people’s perspectives, often acting as a translator for the challenges neurodiverse couples face.
Together, we come up with the specific tools and strategies to achieve your goals, taking into account the strengths and challenges of each partner.
Hopefully, these will be put into practice in the first session. This will allow me to anticipate and solve potential barriers, and for you and your partner to use this new language of connection.
For what cannot and maybe should not change, we can explore work-arounds, discuss coping strategies, and work towards acceptance of each other.
Topics that Neurodiverse couples often seek help with include:
- Communication Issues
- Social Difficulties
- Executive Function Challenges
- Lack of Emotional Reciprocity or Physical Intimacy*
*My experience is 32 years in private practice and my close relationships with friends and family members on the spectrum.
What happens in Neurodiverse couples therapy sessions?
- In our coaching sessions, I will listen for the areas in your relationship dynamic where you and your partner seem to be getting stuck, where the communication breaks down, and intimacy disintegrates in spite of best intentions.
- Through a neurological understanding of the barriers to connection, I can teach you strategies to to reduce the defensiveness in your relationship and instead problem solve and work towards the common goals you and your partner share.
- We can target areas for skill-building, so you and your partner can break old ineffective patterns of communication and start to relate to each other in a more productive and caring way.
Testimonials
Lynne helped me understand the patterns of my thoughts that were harmful to my growth. She helped us emotionally and relationally in our marriage. Her attitude lead us to see and implement the steps to achieve the marriage we truly desired.
I found Lynne to be practical. She gave me what I needed to stop suffering from the idea that I was so different, which I was told at home and at school, all of my life. Then she gave me the confidence to actually give a serious relationship a try!
I found Lynne to be a very special listener, who was able to quickly grasp the whole picture of my relationship. Her simple and direct manner was what I needed to restore my trust in therapy. She was also willing to repeat things for me, when I had difficulty, without becoming annoyed or seeming judgmental.